30 Days of Gratitude - Day 12

I was so cold this morning, and I wanted a warm, hearty breakfast.  I sauteed a bunch of veggies and put them on top of oatmeal!  While that may not appeal to everyone, I absolutely loved it!

Gratitude:

1.  My hard-working husband
2.  My children, each a gift
3.  A unexpectedly nice day with E
4.  Peacefulness, wherever I can find it
4.  Slowly improving health

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 11

I had a good day today, feeling peaceful, content, and craving-free!  Can't ask for much more than that...

1.  A warm house
2.  My children
3.  An appointment with a nurse who's going to help me with my medical problems
4.  Abstinence
5.  My patient husband

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 10

Day 10 and I'm feeling so much better.  It's crazy because I'm having a fibro flare and intense nerve pain in my leg, but I still feel better inside.  I don't know how to explain it except to say that I know that my body likes this food, and I trust that my health is going to continue to improve.  I made vegetable soup in the Instant Pot and it was so warm and felt so healing.

Gratitude:

1.  10 days of abstinence
2.  Warm vegetable soup on a cold winter day
3.  Snuggling with my son, who had a good night tonight (something that I never take for granted)
4.  A good night's sleep last night
5.  My BioMat

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 9

Gratitude:

1.  Made it through a long day of meetings
2.  Stayed abstinent, even though I didn't have time to cook
3.  Went outside
4.  Continued hope
5.  My family

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 8

The trouble with burying your feelings is that feelings buried alive never die. ~ Chef AJ

Gratitude:

1. Acceptance
2. Staying abstinent under stress
3. Hot Hands
4. Hugs from all four children
5. Learning to take one day at a time

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 7

Extremely stressful day today (as opposed to a typical stressful day!), and I just didn't know what to do with it.  I wanted to eat.  I wanted a glass of wine.  What do I do with these crazy reactions, almost to the point of being panic?

For the first time ever, I acknowledged the feelings.  Life took a big turn today, which means that I have no idea what's going to happen next, which means that I'm out of control.  I don't like being out of control.

So, I sat with it.  I didn't like it.  So uncomfortable!  But, I stayed with it anyway.  And I realized that I was going to get through it...even without food or alcohol.

Oh, and did I mention that I was surrounded by hot steamy trigger foods during this particular trial?  Seriously, I felt as if someone set up the whole scene just to make me crazy!  :)

So, I got through it, and that feels great...both physically and emotionally!


Simple, filling, healthy whole foods today.  I think I'm starting to have a little thing with Trader Joe's Cruciferous Crunch!  Who knew I could fall for cabbage, broccoli, and brussels sprouts?


Gratitude:

1.  Got through the stress without eating over it
2.  A rare visit with a good friend
3.  New knowledge about essential oils
4.  Realizing that I'm not running the show
5.  Nick went shopping and stocked up on my food

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 6

Good day today.  Got some sleep this weekend and am starting to feel better.  Lots of nerve pain, wish I felt good enough to exercise a little bit.

Very thirsty all the time, which I don't mind because I'm drinking lots of water.

Leftovers today.  Wanted to finish the last 1/4 of so of chili, just because it was there.  Was aware that I was making myself a human garbage disposal, so I put it down the real garbage disposal instead.  Small victory!

Gratitude:

1.  Sleep
2.  Leftovers
3.  Spending time with GG
4.  E coming home
5.  Hot water

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 5

A good day.  Listened to the teleclass again, and got even more from it.

Very thirsty - drinking lots of water.

Headache is gone but still very tired.  Not pushing myself at all - practicing kindness instead.

I made some hummus today.  It was kind of tough to get used to without any salt in it.  I'll try again tomorrow.

I also made Chef AJ's Ultimate Sauce.  So delicious over a big Cruciferous Crunch salad from Trader Joe's!

I think that I need to stop making recipes for a while, and just eat plain food.  I notice that I get a little crazy when confronted with a huge pot full of soup or chili, and I end up overeating.  I froze quite a few jars of chili and soup today, but it still feels like too much, and then I feel like I have to eat it to get rid of it.

When I make some of these recipes in the future, I'll cut them in half for sure.  Maybe that will help.

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THERE'S NO PAIN, WHEN YOU ABSTAIN!!! - Chef AJ

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I felt a little down (okay, a lot) after seeing myself in the mirror, so I'm working on positive affirmations.

Gratitude:

1.  Believing that I can learn to love myself
2.  The UWL group and all of the support there
3.  The Emotional Eating group, also with lots of support and understanding
4.  Beautiful snow today
5.  A peaceful day

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 4

I had a little meltdown today.  Just a little one.  Too much to do all at once, and it really got to me...

That was precisely the situation in which I would have reached for something sweet, because, you know, I deserved it!  It helped me to calm down after some intense drama.

Today, I'm happy to say, was different.  I released some tears, I took a deep breath or two, and then I sat down and thought about how it would look to calm down without the sweet stuff!

I decided, intentionally, to have a cup of Dandy Blend.  I had it in my mom's mug, which made me feel close to her, which was comforting.  I sat down, felt the warmth of the mug in my hands, and savored the hot drink.

After that, I was able to get on with my day.

Nick made Potato Waffles for me today!  I've wanted to try them for a while now.  What a fun food.

I also cooked up a huge pot of Butternut Squash and Quinoa Chili (from Healthy Girl's Kitchen) in the Instant Pot.  Delicious and warming!


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From Chef AJ re the weekend:

"Don't let the lack of structure or routine or increased socializing derail you. You can do this. You can stay on your program an NO MATTER WHAT."


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Gratitude:

1.  Having Nick cook for me
2.  Nick working on organizing his office
3.  Respite
4.  Therapy
5.  Warm food on a bitterly cold day

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 3

My headache is subsiding!


It's soooo cold out, and I couldn't get warm.  All I wanted was something thick and hearty, so I started putting everything that came to mind into the soup pot: black beans, kidney beans, corn, tomatoes, hominy, lots of smoked paprika and cumin (my favorites!), some cheeze sauce, and I forget what else.  Oh yeah, brown rice!

It warmed me up...at least for a while.  Tonight, I had my first ever cup of hot water with some lemon juice squeezed into it.  It was good (I don't care for it cold) and again, it did the trick.
 

I've had a few food cravings, but nothing I haven't been able to deep breathe my way through.  Seriously, it works!  I breathe in for the count of five, hold my breath for the count of five, exhale for five, and hold for five.  Good stuff!


From JP:
"Sitting is the new smoking, GET OFF YOUR SEAT AND ON YOUR FEET."



Gratitude:
1.  My oldest son brought home a beautiful white rose for me!
2.  Nick brought me some new greens to try, plus spinach, butternut squash, and lots of sweet potatoes from the CSA
3.  Being able to comfort my very frightened son
4.  Playing cards with my daughter
5.  My computer, which keeps me connected

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 2

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From JP:  "Let's focus on staying strong today. Always move toward the light, and love yourself no matter what. Whatever the question vegetables are the answer!! Stay on these boards and support one another."

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Gratitude:

1.  Having a program that works for me, and doing that program with others who understand.

2.  Filling, healthy food.

3.  Not giving up, no matter how tough things have been.

4.  Heat, on this frigid day.

5.  Detox, because it reminds me that what I'm doing is working, and better days are ahead.

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30 Days of Gratitude - Day 1

I've been working on dealing with emotional eating, and what I've learned is that the issue is twofold: first and foremost, there's the emotional aspect, and second, is the physical aspect, food addiction.

Not everyone believes in food addiction, but that's not important to me.  I live with it, and that's the extent of my argument.    I learned that I was a food addict about 10 years ago.  I joined a program that eliminated sugar in all forms, flour, and processed foods.  I felt great, and all food cravings were eliminated.  The problem was that I didn't like eating animal products, which were required in that program.

Fast forward to a whole foods, plant-based diet, and I convinced myself that I would no longer deal with food addiction if I was eating WFPB.  I was actually assured that the food I was eating in my program wouldn't cause cravings.  The only problem is that I was having significant cravings!

I was searching for information on how to combine WFPB with food addiction, but I wasn't finding much...until recently.  Chef AJ and John Pierre created a program called Ultimate Weight Loss, which addresses food addiction.

So, I'm going to continue to work on the emotional aspect, while eating this way.  I feel like, after all these years, I've found what I need.

Today is Day 1, and I'm excited to get started!

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Homework:
1) get a food journal, a note book or an app.
2) get a pedometer. be conscious of how much you are moving
3) stay connected, post and read the boards.

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Gratitude:

1. This program

2. Whole foods that don't cause cravings

3. My family, who support me

4. Clean water

5. My health, and the hopes that I can get better

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Food Addiction

Certain foods. like sugar, flour and refined carbohydrates (like breads and pastas), react negatively in a food addict's system, which causes the person to overeat. As soon as these substances enter the system, a person physically craves more and more of them, and no matter how much is eaten, It will never be enough. Just as an alcoholic physically craves alcohol, food addicts physically crave certain foods.

It is this physical craving for substances that causes individuals to overeat. In the same manner that, after years of drinking, alcoholics become dependent on alcohol, food addicts desire food. This establishes the phenomenon of “craving”.

Your overeating is a biological malfunctioning of your system, not a character flaw!

~ Chef AJ

The Voice - Geneen Roth

Within two hours of welcoming students to a retreat on using food as a doorway to their inner lives, I ask them to list 10 criticisms they've hurled at themselves since they arrived. "Just 10?" someone usually asks. Then I introduce the concept of The Voice. I ask a few people to read their lists out loud (using the tone in which The Voice usually speaks to them). Some things I've heard: "I can't believe I came to another thing on weight." "What is wrong with me for thinking I could wear a sleeveless dress?" "My toenails are disgusting." "I'm wasting my time and I should go home." You probably wouldn't let anyone else talk to you the way you talk to yourself. You're inured to insults from this inner critic who sounds so much like you that you believe it is you. You think you're telling yourself the truth.

How do you free yourself from The Voice? You begin by becoming aware that it exists. One good way to do that is by listing the ways you've berated yourself and reading the insults out loud in the voice of The Voice, the way my students do. Next, you work on disengaging from The Voice - understanding that it isn't you. You can begin to separate from The Voice by remembering a time when you knew the delight of being happy for no reason, a moment when The Voice was silent and you were your essential self.

When you stop believing The Voice, when you know it isn't you, when you talk back to it, you are free. You have access to yourself and every thing The Voice pretends to offer, but doesn't: clarity, intelligence, strength, joy, compassion, curiosity, love. When you stop responding to the continual comments on your thighs, your value, your very existence, then you can ask yourself if you are comfortable at this weight; if you feel healthy, energetic, awake. And if the answer is no, you can ask yourself what you could do about it that would fit into your day-to-day life. What you can live with, what you can maintain. What feels good, what stirs your heart. And you can give that answer in your own voice.