Saturday, 8/31/13

Brunch: Potato Spinach Corn Enchiladas

Late Lunch: GF English Muffins, Cherry Tomatoes, Mayo, Peaches

Late Dinner: Loaded Nachos: Baked Tortilla Chips, Cheeze Sauce, Jalapeno Corn Salsa, Instant Pot Refried Beans, Lettuce, Tomato, Cilantro

Peaches

Exercise: 2 hours walking/exercising in pool

Craziness!

I'm getting a little crazy.

I figure it's okay as long as I know that I'm crazy.  It's when I don't know that the trouble begins!  :)

I'm having these crazy internal dialogues.  They're going on because the Biggest Loser competition I joined is coming to an end.

As I said, I wasn't going to join.  I'm glad I did because it was the kick in the pants I needed to get started.  It's kept me accountable with weekly weigh-ins that aren't particularly healthy for me emotionally, but I've been okay with them.

Until now.

There are just twelve days left.  And I'm panicking.

Deep down, I don't care if I win.  The competition has served its purpose, and I should just leave it at that.

But, there's also that strong competitive drive lurking inside, and it keeps rearing its ugly head!

I've entered similar contests, years ago.  A bunch of people got together, paid their dues, and whomever lost the greatest percentage of their original body weight won the money.

Let's just say that I'm used to winning.  I won in various unhealthy ways, but I won.

With this competition, the chance of me winning is slim.  Out of 46 people, I've lost the greatest number of pounds, but am in third place for percentage of weight lost.  I should be happy with that, and truthfully, I am.

Until the competitive voice starts in again...

If I starve myself from now on, I could drop a bunch of weight.  Or maybe I'll do a juice fast, and walk in the pool for five hours a day...

This is my crazy thinking.  It's tied to starvation, binge eating, and a very unstable relationship with food.

I don't want anything to do with it anymore.  I'm sane while eating the way I'm eating.  Why would I want to jeopardize that?  To win a prize? 

The truth is that I would much rather have a healthy long-term relationship with food than win a contest.

Of course, there's another competition starting on September 18th, and I toy with the idea of entering again, thinking that maybe I'll work harder and lose more weight and win!

This is the craziness that goes on in my head, and it's only the beginning if I stray from the Protective Diet.

So, I'm putting it here, in writing, that I'm going to finish the competition in 12 days, I'm going to pat myself on the back for a job well done, and then I'm going to put away my scale and focus on continuing to eat the way I've been eating.  Restored health is the only prize I need.

Friday, 8/30/13

Breakfast:  Apple Crumble

Lunch: Red Lentil Salad

Baked Potato, Sour Cream

Dinner: Potato Spinach Corn Enchiladas

Thursday, 8/29/13

Breakfast: Watermelon

Lunch: Popcorn with Apple Cider Vinegar & Nutritional Yeast

Dinner: Stuffed Peppers, Sour Cream, Spinach Dip

Corn on the Cob

Self-Caretaker

I started following the Protective Diet on June 19th.  I also joined a Biggest Loser competition with an online adoption group on the same day.

I'm glad I joined the Biggest Loser group.  It gave me the boost I needed to get started.  I wasn't going to join because it cost $40.00, and I didn't want to spend the money on myself.  But, when I read the details, I saw that the competition started on June 19th and ended on September 11th.  Both of those dates are significant to me: June 19th marks the date of our last failed adoption, and September 11th is my birthday.  After some thought, I decided to join as a birthday present to myself.

I'm glad that I made that decision because I knew that I'd get support from other adoptive parents on the group who have kids with special needs.  They know firsthand how time consuming that is and how easy it is to put everything into your kids and have nothing left for yourself.

I love my children more than I can say, but I have become a nurse, a doctor, a pharmacist, a therapist, and an advocate.  I spend countless hours doing research, filling out paperwork, fighting for services, going to appointments with doctors and therapists, spending time in the ER and hospital, coordinating numerous therapist visits in our home, searching for new therapies and treatments...the list goes on.

At the end of the day, I had no time or energy left for myself.

I noticed something with other adoptive parents I knew.  Either they ended up getting sick (like I did) or they made a point of running or kickboxing or doing whatever it took to let off steam and do something for themselves.  I couldn't figure out how they found the time.

When I started this competition, I decided to make the time.  No matter what, I made myself the priority.  I cooked while the laundry and dishes piled up, and today I ignored the tower of paperwork on my desk and went swimming.

My role in life is a caretaker right now, but I've learned that I have to extend that role to include myself.  It's not easy.  I started this post yesterday, got interrupted more times than I can count, and was up until 2:30 AM with one child when I desperately needed sleep.  Yes, I was frustrated, but instead of giving up and telling myself that it's pointless to try to take care of myself, I just took it one minute at a time.  I didn't need to eat to soothe my frayed nerves or because I was so sleep deprived.  I slept when I could, and got up and ate my healthy breakfast.  I'm tired today, but as long as I just focus on my meals and my health, I'll be okay.

Wednesday, 8/28/13

Breakfast: Chocolate Mint Overnight Oats

Lunch: Chickpea Salad, Romaine, Cherry Tomatoes

Dinner: Curry, Brown Rice, Sour Cream

Frozen Cacao

Wednesday Weigh In, Week 10

Lost: 3 pounds

Total: 39 pounds

Tuesday, 8/27/13

Breakfast: Chocolate Mint Overnight Oats

Lunch: Spicy Cauliflower, Spinach Artichoke Dip

Dinner: Curry, Brown Rice, Corn on the Cob

Watermelon

Exercise: 2 hours walking/exercising in pool

Monday, 8/26/13

Brunch: Slow Cooker Refried Beans, Cheeze Sauce, Baby Spinach

Curry, Brown Rice, Sour Cream

Dinner: 1/2 Baked Potato, Spinach Artichoke Dip, Carrots, Spicy Cauliflower

Apple

Sunday, 8/25/13

Breakfast: Spiced Roasted Potatoes, Sour Cream

Blueberries

Lunch: Baked Potato Halves, Mushroom Gravy

Popcorn with Apple Cider Vinegar & Nutritional Yeast

Dinner: Curry over Brown Rice

Apple


Exercise: 1.5 hours Pool Exercises

Going Public

I've decided to take this blog public.  I'm a little bit nervous about it.  I'm one of those people who wants to get it together and then talk about it!  I haven't been willing to share my struggles or my progress.

Well, that hasn't been working so well for me.  :)  I'm a slow learner, but I'm finally realizing that I can't do this alone.  I need people; I need their support and their encouragement.  My hope is that I can also offer encouragement to others.

I know a fair amount about food and nutrition, but the bottom line is that I'm an addict, and my food addiction wins over knowledge every time.

I'll say up front that I'm uncomfortable opening up, but that's okay.  I'll survive.  The bottom line is that I have a bunch of health issues, many related to being so overweight.  I'm obese (I detest that word!).  I've done tons of diets and lost and gained tons of weight.  I'm working on acceptance.  I'm working on loving myself as I am.  I'm working on letting others love me as I am.  It's not easy, but I'm willing to do the work.

The Protective Diet has been a lifesaver.  Literally.  I've lived with constant, debilitating pain for over eight years now and I really had no desire to live any longer.  I love my family, and they kept me going, but it often felt like a losing battle.

Since starting the Protective Diet in June, my whole outlook has changed.  I knew within weeks that this was the right plan for me.  As soon as I got caffeine and sugar and oil out of my system, I felt myself coming alive again!  The plan makes sense to me, I feel good eating these foods, and there honestly hasn't been a single recipe that I haven't liked.  I can't say that about any other plan that I've tried.

Some people have told me that they feel like the Protective Diet is too restrictive.  I couldn't disagree more.  Restrictive was not having a choice about what I ate because all I craved was sugar and fat.  Restrictive was not being able to stop eating those foods, not being able to stop thinking about those foods!  Restrictive was being in bondage to food.  I can't imagine anything less restrictive than being free of the cravings and the obsession with food, while eating foods that I truly enjoy and that heal my body instead of harming it.  That's true freedom, not restriction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, 8/24/13

Breakfast: Peaches

Lunch: Salad: Romaine, cherry tomatoes, scallions, cucumber, Slow Cooker Refried Beans, Cheeze Sauce, Sour Cream

Dinner: Spiced Roasted Potatoes, Sour Cream
Banana


Exercise: 1.5 hours exercising in the pool

Friday, 8/23/13

Feeling sick from new Fibromyalgia meds, so not much variety today.  Decided to stop logging water since I know I'm drinking a lot, plus usually (although maybe not today!) getting enough from my fruits and veggies.


Breakfast: Chocolate Oatmeal Brownie Muffins

Lunch: Pinto Beans (I saved some of the beans before mashing them to make Slow Cooker Refried Beans)

Dinner: Greek Salad

Baked Tortilla Chips, Salsa

Thursday, 8/22/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Strawberries

22 oz water

Lunch: Greek Salad, Tostadas

22 oz water

Dinner: Greek Salad

22 oz water

Chocolate Oatmeal Brownie Muffins

Alisa Keeton's Chair Workouts

I found these on YouTube and decided to try a few of them out.  At this point, I can only exercise in a pool or sitting down because of back and knee problems.

 

Chair Workout - Overweight & Obese Fitness

At Home -Chair Workout #2 - "It is enough"- Christian Fitness & Wellness

 

Chair Workout #3 - Overweight/Obese - Christian Fitness - Faith & Wellness

 

Overweight/Obese Chair WorkOUT #4 - Christian Fitness - Faith & Wellness 

 

"Good heart. Good increase." -Overweight/Obese Chair Workout-Christian Fitness-Luke 8:15

 

Alisa Keeton

"Easy on the Knees" Chair Workout

Online Stopwatch

Wednesday, 8/21/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Watermelon

22 oz water
22 oz water

Lunch: Enchiladas

22 oz water
22 oz water

Dinner: One Pot Pasta

22 oz water

Watermelon

Exercise: Easy on the Knees Workout: Alisa Keeton's Chair Workout

Wednesday Weigh In: Week 9

Lost 3 pounds

Total: 36 pounds

The Healthy Eating Placemat

I like this visual from Jeff Novick:



Make sure 1/3 to 1/2 of the visual volume of all your meals are low calorie dense vegetables. The other 1/2- 2/3 should be unrefined, un-(or minimally)-processed complex carbohydrates (legumes, intact whole grains, starchy vegetables.

 

In addition, you can make the following modifications:

 

- Salt: For many people, salt seems to act as an appetite stimulant. So, the less you salt your food, the less people tend to eat.

 

- Variety: For many people, having a variety of foods available at each meal also seems to encourage over consumption. Therefore, the less variety at a meal, the less food consumed.

 

- Raw Foods: Foods you can eat raw tend to be lower in calorie density and may not digest as efficiently as cooking helps the digestion process.

 

- Sequencing: Eat the lowest calorie dense foods first. This fills you up so you eat less of the higher calorie dense foods. 

 

- Avoid (or strictly limit):

     - all higher fat, calorie dense plant foods, nuts, seeds, oils, avocados, 

        tofu, etc. 

 

     - all refined processed grains & starches that are higher in calorie density   

       (breads, bagels, crackers, cookies, dry cereal, tortilla's etc & anything       

       made from ground up flour) even if they are whole grain. 

 

     -all concentrated sugars/sweeteners  (sugar, brown sugar, agave, honey,  

      molasses, date sugar, etc) even if they are natural and organic

 

     - all dried fruits.

 

If you follow the principles of calorie density and make the necessary adjustments as needed, you will lose weight in a healthy way at a healthy rate.

 
Jeff Novick - Maximizing Weight Loss

Tuesday, 8/20/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Cacao Breakfast Muffins, Peaches

22 oz water

Lunch: Enchiladas

22 oz water

Cacao Breakfast Muffins

22 oz water

Dinner: Potato and Kale Soup

22 oz water

Watermelon
Ginger Tea

22 oz water
16 oz water

Exercise: 1.5 hours walking/exercising in pool

Hope...and Belief!

I would have loved to have gone to the Farms 2 Fork Event at the Esselstyn Family Farm in New York this past weekend.  After reading a little bit about it, I've decided to make it one of my goals to get there next year.  I read a short post by Natala on the Engine 2 Diet blog about the weekend, and it had a huge impact on the way I view my health problems.

This is part of her post:


"My favorite part of our retreat weekends is the stories. Not the stories of our speakers, or our staff, the stories of the people who come to the event. People come up to us and tell us their plant-strong success stories. Each one is remarkable.

A woman came up to me who was so sick, she attempted to take her life, she found answers in plant-strong health, and today has reversed her very serious illnesses.

A woman with stage 4 breast cancer who had been 100 pounds overweight, who is now in remission and 100 pounds lighter.

A man told by his doctors that his heart disease was so advanced that he should go home and enjoy the rest of his life, which might be a couple of months, 2 years later he is loving life and has a healthy heart.

A man who was battling debilitating joint pain, so much he had to quit his job, he was given Engine 2, gave it a try and is now running 1/2 marathons.

A woman was a 3 pack a day smoker, 75 pounds overweight with T2 diabetes who is now cigarette free, 70 pounds lighter and no signs of T2 anymore."


Those words really sank in, making me realize that if those people could get better with eating this way, then so can I!  I've thought that before, but this is probably the first time I've really believed it!

Monday, 8/19/13

22 oz water
16 oz water

Breakfast: Roasted Broccoli, Blueberry Breakfast Muffins

22 oz water
22 oz water

Lunch: Potato and Kale Soup

22 oz water
22 oz water

Dinner: Enchiladas


Exercise: T-Tapp Chair Exercises

Oil

I knew that I could easily stop eating meat, dairy, and sugar, because I've done it before.  I have never stopped eating oil, though.  I didn't think that I could do it.  Well, that's not entirely true; I didn't want to do it.  I thought that my meals would be boring, plain, and tasteless without oil.

I'm honestly not sure what clicked, but for whatever reason, I decided to give it a try.

What helped the most was that the PD recipes that I tried were delicious!  They were far from tasteless.  I liked every single recipe I tried, which amazed me.  Each time I made a scrumptious meal, I couldn't wait to try the next recipe.

I no longer even thought about oil!

One day, I was loading the dishes into the dishwasher, and the family had eaten something for dinner that was really greasy.  I couldn't even stand the feel of it on my hands (which is kind of weird because I love coconut oil as a moisturizer!), and the thought of eating something that greasy just made my stomach turn!  I imagined the feeling of the oil coating my mouth, and I felt sick at the thought of it!

I remember seeing Rip Esselstyn's movie, and he told one of his clients that he couldn't stand the taste of oil, and that she would get to that point, too.  I didn't believe him.  I knew that I'd feel that way about sugar and processed foods, but not about oil.

Well, I was wrong.  :)

I don't miss oil, I can't stand the thought of eating anything with oil on it or in it, my hair and skin look just fine and aren't at all dry, and I'm starting to feel better than I've felt in years.

I'm convinced.  No more oil for me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday, 8/18/13

60 Days!!

22 oz water
22 oz water

Breakfast: Sliced Peaches, Banana

22 oz water

Peach

22 oz water

Lunch: Zucchini, Tomatoes, Onions

22 oz water
22 oz water

Dinner: 2 Ezekiel English Muffins, Mayo, Lettuce, Tomatoes

22 oz water

Saturday, 8/17/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: 3 peaches, 1 banana

22 oz water

Lunch: Pesto Sauce over GF Angel Hair Pasta

22 oz water

2 Ezekiel English Muffins, Mayo, Lettuce, Tomato

22 oz water

Dinner: Pesto Sauce over GF Angel Hair Pasta

22 oz water

2 peaches

22 oz water
16 oz water

Diagnoses and Changes

A friend asked me to send her a list of my current diagnoses.  I'd never compiled a complete list before, so I gathered the reports from different specialists and came up with the list below.

Seeing it in writing was somewhat daunting.  These diagnoses don't define who I am, but seeing them made me realize that I am dealing with quite a bit, and I don't show myself much compassion.  If this list belonged to a friend, I'd certainly be much more sympathetic than I am to myself.

I view the list as a challenge.  I also realize that it's going to take time.  I've been on this journey for just two months, and I'm determined to plow through, but it's going to take time.  I want overnight results, and that's just not going to happen.

With the exception of obesity, I'm told that most of these things can't be cured.  I refuse to believe that.  So, one day at a time, one bite at a time, I'm going to see what I can do to bring about some changes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stage II Mostly Fibrotic Severe Lymphedema of Bilateral Lower Extremities

Severe Back Pain due to Lumbar Disc Disease with Neurogenic Claudication

C8-T1 Radiculopathy, Causing Pain, Numbness, and Tingling in the Neck, Upper Back, Arms, Hands, and Fingers

Severe Bilateral Degenerative Joint Disease of the Knees

Sleep Apnea

Fibromyalgia

Chronic Headache

Chronic Sinusitis

Nasal Septal Deformity

Allergic Rhinitis

Meralgia Paresthetica (damaged lateral femoral cutaneous nerve, resulting in constant pain, numbness, burning sensation, tingling, multiple bee sting-like pains, hypersensitivity to touch and heat in the right outer thigh, from hip to knee)

Candidiasis

Rosacea

Pituitary Adenoma

Hyperprolactenemia

Hypertension

Hyperlipidemia

Bilateral Carpal Tunnel Syndrome

Obesity

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, 8/16/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Strawberries, Watermelon

22 oz water

Lunch: Spicy Asian Soup

22 oz water

Peach, Carrots, Spinach Dip

16 oz water

Dinner: Lentil Stew, 2 Ezekiel Sprouted English Muffins, Spinach Dip

22 oz water

Banana

Exercise: 1 hour walk/run in pool; pool exercises

Thursday, 8/15/13

22 oz water
22 oz water

Breakfast: 2 peaches, Watermelon

22 oz water
16 oz water

Lunch: Tofu, Peach

22 oz water

Exercise: 1 hour walking in pool

Dinner: Lentil Stew

22 oz water
22 oz water

Wednesday, 8/14/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: 2 peaches

22 oz water

Lunch:  Spicy Asian Soup, Chickpea Salad
22 oz water

Peach

22 oz water

Dinner: Hummus, Baked Tortilla Chips, Salad: Mixed lettuce, cucumbers, carrots, Dill Pickles, tomatoes, Dressing: Mayo mixed with Salsa

22 oz water
16 oz water

Exercise: 1 hour walking in pool

Wednesday Weigh In: Week 8

Lost 3 pounds

Total: 33 pounds

Tuesday, 8/13/13

16 oz water

Breakfast: Korean Melon

22 oz water

Frozen Cacao

22 oz water

Lunch: Hummus, Unfriend Carrot Fries

22 oz water

Dinner: Spicy Asian Soup

Monday, 8/12/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Mexican Mac n Cheeze

22 oz water

Banana
Blueberries

22 oz water

Lunch: Chickpea Salad

16 oz water
22 oz water

Dinner: Vegan Crab Cakes with Lemon Mayo, 2 small baked potatoes

22 oz water

Frozen Cacao

22 oz water
16 oz water

Sunday, 8/11/13

22 oz water

1 banana

16 oz water

1 banana

Lunch: Salad: romaine, cucumbers, red cabbage, carrots, tomatoes, Refried Black Beans, Cheeze Sauce, Salsa

22 oz water

Dinner: Mexican Mac n Cheeze

16 oz water

Saturday, 8/10/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Chickpea Cucumber Salad, yellow grape tomatoes

22 oz water

Banana

Lunch: E2 Tortillas, Refried Black Beans, Cheeze Sauce, Salsa

22 oz water

Banana

22 oz water

Dinner: E2 Tortillas, Refried Black Beans, Cheeze Sauce, Salsa

22 oz water

Banana

22 oz water

Friday, 8/9/13

22 oz water
22 oz water

Breakfast: Banana

22 oz water

Lunch: Chickpea Cucumber Salad

22 oz water

Cheeze Sauce, Baked Tortilla Chips

22 oz water

Dinner: 2 Engine2 Tortillas, Refried Black Beans, Cheeze Sauce, Salsa

2 Clementines

22 oz water
22 oz water

Waste Not

Yesterday, I became aware of the fact that my Trader Joes Refried Black Beans with Jalapenos, although oil-free and good tasting, has a whoppin' 440 mg of sodium per 1/2 cup serving!

My mentality was that it was "bad" and I needed to get rid of it.  I couldn't, however, throw it away, so my solution was to eat it and not buy it again.  That mentality has gotten me in trouble so many times in the past, and it's time to change it.  I am not a human garbage disposal!!!

I ate it for lunch, and by dinnertime, my feet and ankles were so swollen and uncomfortable.  They bothered me when I went to bed, and are still swollen this morning.  I will be donating the rest of the cans.  I don't need to put that kind of sodium in my body!

Update:  I am so weak!  In spire of my intentions, I ate the other can of TJ's refried beans the next day!  I hadn't planned ahead and my son wanted Mexican and so did I!  Thankfully, that was the last can I had!

Thursday, 8/8/13

22 oz water

Banana

22 oz water
22 oz water

Lunch: Refried black beans (canned, no oil, too much sodium!), Cheeze Sauce, Salsa, Baked Tortilla Chips

22 oz water
22 oz water

Pluto

22 oz water

Dinner: Salad with lettuce, carrots, red cabbage, scallions, tomatoes, red pepper, cucumber, black beans.  Mixed Cheeze Sauce with Salsa for a dressing.  Green beans with garlic.  Fingerling potatoes

22 oz water
22 oz water

Wednesday Weigh In: Week 7

I lost seven pounds this week, for a total of 30 pounds in seven weeks! 


My post on PDL:

As of today, I've been living the PD way for seven weeks. Yesterday, I sat at my son's birthday party and watched people eat junk and complain about being too full and eating too much sugar. I didn't feel any of that! I've dropped 30 pounds and it's been effortless! All I have to do it plan ahead and prepare the food, which I love doing because the recipes are so easy and the food tastes so good!

Wednesday, 8/7/13

22 oz water

22 oz water

Lunch: Southwestern Pasta Toss

22 oz water
22 oz water

Banana

Dinner: Southwestern Pasta Toss, Mashed Potatoes, 1/2 ear corn

22 oz water
22 oz water

Banana

22 oz water
22 oz water

Tuesday, 8/6/13

22 oz water

22 oz water

Lunch: Mashed Potatoes, Mushroom Gravy, Chipotle Coleslaw, Chipotle Mayo, Baked Tortilla Chips

22 oz water

Banana

Dinner: Mashed Potatoes, corn on the cob, Zucchini Muffins

22 oz water

Monday, 8/5/13

22 oz water
16 oz water

Breakfast: Mashed Potatoes, Mushroom Gravy

22 oz water

Lunch: Chipotle Coleslaw, Mashed Potatoes, Mushroom Gravy, Swiss chard, baby spinach, onions, and mushrooms

16 oz water
22 oz water

Dinner: Chipotle Coleslaw, Mashed Potatoes, Mushroom Gravy, Swiss chard, baby spinach, onions, and mushrooms, 1/2 corn on the cob

22 oz water

Strawberries

16 oz water

Sunday, 8/4/13

22 oz water

Ginger Lemon Tea (sick)

Breakfast: Scrambled Cheezy Tofu, Sautéd spinach, mushrooms, onions, hot sauce

e

22 oz water

Lunch: Baked Apples

22 oz water

Dinner: Mashed Potatoes, Mushroom Gravy

Saturday, 8/3/13

22 oz water

Breakfast: Szechuan Broccoli

Frozen Cacao


22 oz water

Lunch: Strawberries

Dinner: Mashed Potatoes, Mushroom Gravy

Chipotle Mayo, Baked Tortilla Chips

22 oz water
22 oz water

Friday, 8/2/13

Ezekiel Pocket
Blueberry Jam

Banana

Tofu with Coconut Aminos
Mayo
Ezekiel Roll

Banana

Tofu with Coconut Aminos
Mayo
Tomatoes

Frozen Cacao

Thursday, 8/1/13

Breakfast: Fruit Salad (watermelon, peaches, oranges, mango)

22 oz water

Lunch: Bean burger, Dill Pickles, Ketchup, Mayo, 1 Ezekiel pocket

22 oz water

Banana

Dinner: Szechuan Broccoli over Brown Rice Noodles, Banana

22 oz water

Fruit Salad, Szechuan Broccoli

22 oz water (88 oz total)