Self-Care November

One thing I've learned is that there's a much bigger picture than just the food.  The more my food falls into place, the more other, unresolved things pop up.  I'm still so reluctant to take care of myself holistically.  The food's good?  Then I stay up too late, get too involved in projects that are simply a distraction, focus on other people's lives so that I can avoid looking at my own.  It's an old pattern, one that I'm willing to address.  Sort of.  A part of me just doesn't want to go there, but it's time.  So, I'm putting it out here, as a way of holding myself accountable.  Even if  no one ever reads this, it's still here, in writing.  I can go and delete it, of course, but I'm going to work hard to avoid doing so.

I'm proclaiming the month of November self-care month.

I'm starting tomorrow with a day of pampering.

Deep breath.

A local special needs group holds a day of pampering for caregivers every November.  Every year, I sign up.  Every year, for the past three (or four?) years, I've cancelled.

I don't feel pamperable.  I know that's not a word, but it suits my purpose here, so I'm sticking with it. 

All of my focus is on my kids.  Self-care is a thing of the past.  Of course, that's the whole purpose of the day tomorrow, because so many caregivers don't ever focus on themselves!

Things that I used to do without hesitation - massages, hair care, facials, manicures and pedicures, a fancy lunch out - are foreign to me now.  They're part of a world to which I no longer belong, and it feels uncomfortable to reenter that world. 

I'm going to push through that discomfort tomorrow, and I know that once I get there, I'm going to love every minute of it.

From that starting point, I'm going to complete a daily checklist of self-care essentials: sleep, drinking enough water, daily affirmations, and at least one documented form of physical self-care.

My tendencies are to throw myself in to something new like this, get overwhelmed, and eventually quit.  To avoid that, I'm going to start small, with just a few things, and work from there.

It's time.

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