Tuesday, 12/31/13 - Happy New Year's Eve!

Breakfast: Mixed fruit

Lunch: Picked at and tasted the food I was making for New Year's Eve dinner!

Amazingly Delicious Dinner:

Refried Black Beans
Spicy Cilantro Lime Rice
Taco Filling
Baked Tortilla Chips
Guacamole
Jalapeno Corn Salsa
Cheeze Sauce
Vegan Sour Cream
Fresh salsa
Romaine
Tomatoes

Champagne

Monday, 12/30/13

Sometimes the simplest food is the best.  I had some leftover spaghetti from dinner last night, and some leftover cheeze sauce.  So, for lunch, I cut up the spaghetti, stirred in the cheeze sauce, heated them up, and topped them with fresh salsa.  So good!  

For dinner, I had my favorite chickpea salad, using up leftover chickpeas.  I love that salad!  I spiced up the greens with some fresh salsa from the store.  It's pathetically pale but tasted great!


Breakfast: Cacao Wake-up Shake

Lunch: Tinkyada brown rice spaghetti, with Cheeze Sauce, and fresh salsa

Dinner: Chickpea Salad on spring mix with carrots and fresh salsa

Sunday, 12/29/13

Breakfast: Nick's Yummy Instant Pot Oatmeal with black cherries; watermelon, honeydew, pineapple, and cantaloupe

Lunch: Simple Potato Soup

Dinner: Vegetable Lo Mein, watermelon, grapes

Wednesday, 12/25/13 through Saturday, 12/28/13

 I was out of town for a few days and didn't take pictures of my food while I was away, so I'm just putting everything together as one post.

Highlights of the trip were that I felt well enough physically to go, and well enough emotionally to really enjoy it!  My attitude is so much different than it used to be, and I'm so much more accepting and tolerant.  I can't believe the petty stuff I used to get upset over!

I also ate well and wasn't tempted by all of the SAD food surrounding me.  I didn't feel sick from too much rich food, and I'm not worried that I packed on the pounds over the holidays.

I distinctly remember reading someone's FB post at the end of last year, saying what an amazing year 2012 was and how she could hardly wait for 2013.  I still remember feeling so astounded that anyone could actually be so enthusiastic.  I know that sounds cynical, but I honestly was so down, sick, and in pain that I wasn't looking forward to anything except for surviving another day.  Today, I can say that I really am looking forward to 2014!


Wednesday, 12/25/13

Breakfast: Oatmeal with blueberries

Lunch:  Vegan Swedish "Meatballs"; Mashed Potatoes, Vegan Chocolate Truffles

Dinner: Buffalo Potato Wedges, Ranch Dressing, celery,



Thursday, 12/26/13

Lunch:  Baked Potato Wedges, salad, Ranch Dressing 

Dinner:  Mac & Cheeze, wine



Friday, 12/27/13

Lunch: Mac & Cheeze, salad, ranch dressing 

Dinner: Baked Potato Wedges, cheeze sauce, salad, ranch dressing



Saturday, 12/28/13

Breakfast: Baked Potato Wedges,cheeze sauce

Lunch: Salad, balsamic vinegar, salsa, apples, baked tortilla chips, vegan spinach dip, hummus, wine

Dinner: Vegan Swedish "Meatballs", Mashed Potatoes, grapes, pineapple, & honeydew melon, wine

Tuesday, 12/24/13

Had a great Christmas Eve!  No pictures, since I can only take so many pictures of my oatmeal, and lunch and dinner were eaten out.  Very thankful to have a sane holiday...surrounded by cakes and cookies and rich foods, and not tempted by any of them!


Breakfast: Nick's Yummy Instant Pot Oatmeal with blueberries

Lunch:  Mac and Cheeze, Mashed Potatoes, Roasted cauliflower, carrots, onions, and parsnips with balsamic vinegar

Dinner:  Mac and Cheeze, hummus, carrots, Roasted Brussels Sprouts, Fruit Salad

Monday, 12/23/13

 I'm still feeling a little under the weather today.  I made a warming potato soup for lunch. Someone gave us two nice heads of Napa Cabbage, so Nick made a stir-fry for my dinner.  It was delicious!


Breakfast: Cacao Wake-up Shake

Lunch: Simple Potato Soup,   Baked French Fries, Ranch Dressing

Dinner: Nick's Napa Cabbage Stir-fry (napa cabbage, spinach, carrots, celery, ginger, garlic, tamari), ginger tea

Sunday, 12/22/13

I'm was feeling kind of run down again today, with a slight sore throat and heavy chest.  I'm not getting enough sleep and there's been a few extra doses of stress around here.  I love the Christmas season in so many ways, and I certainly love the reason for the season.  Still, it's overstimulating for the kids; they're on sugar overload with Santa throwing candy at them from the firetruck, and Christmas parties at school.  I've opted out of many Christmassy things to do, but it's still too much for them, which affects all of us.  I'll be glad when it's over with and I can calm down and get back into a routine.

That said, I ate a delicious midnight snack tonight!  I know, I know...it's the worst time to eat, and I wouldn't be hungry if I went to bed at a decent hour.  But, I ate it, and I enjoyed every single bite.  :)  Nick made it for me, and I didn't take a picture, but it was pretty with the red lettuce, cabbage, and tomatoes, and the green lettuce and pickles.  Hey, Christmas colors!  That's it!  It was my Christmas treat.  It was better than eating red and green Christmas cookies, right?  :P

Oh, and my 7yo son, "E" made my salad for me.  He spun the lettuce, washed the cherry tomatoes, and arranged them around the outside of the salad, with one lone tomato in the center.  It was a sweet gesture.  Afterwards, I tried to remember if he'd washed his hands first because I know where those hands have been!  I felt kind of sick just thinking about it, and tried to push it out of my mind!  lol


Breakfast:  Mixed fruit, ginger tea

Lunch: Chili, Cheeze Sauce; brown rice (not pretty by any means, but extremely tasty!)

Chili, Cheeze Sauce, Brown Rice

Dinner: Salad by E (spring mix, cherry tomatoes), Carrot Soup, Baked Sweet Potato Fries; Ranch Dressing

Salad by E

Carrot Soup

Sweet Potato Fries

Midnight Snack: Ezekiel Toast with Ranch Dressing, field greens, red cabbage, tomatoes, dill pickles

The Holidays

We were at the checkout line after doing some Christmas shopping.  The woman ringing us up was going home after a long day.  We jokingly told her that we had all sorts of challenges for her, including a hand-written store credit from the manager, two identical items with different prices, three different gift cards, and some of their store bucks.  She rolled her eyes, obviously not seeing the humor in the situation like we did.

I apologized, asking how long she'd been working that day.  She'd been working long hours and was really upset because she'd been forced to work on Thanksgiving day, and even though she'd found coverage, they weren't allowing her to take off the day after Christmas so that she could be with her family.

I also learned that her husband had died at only 49 years old, of cancer.  She dreaded the holidays without him.  Her eyes filled with tears, as did mine.

We ended up smiling, as I again apologized for our crazy transaction.  She told us to be sure to come to her checkout the next time we shopped.  I assured her that we would.

Nick pulled out a business card and handed it to her.  He told her to go to the website and choose anything she liked, and he'd take care of her.

Her whole face lit up.  She looked like a different person.

I was so thankful to be well enough to go out and to end up meeting her.  I was thankful to see her smile and I hope that we made a difference in her day.

So many people are struggling, especially over the holidays.  I'm more motivated than ever to get well enough to get back out into the world.  I'm an introvert, but Nick balances me, and between the two of us, I think that we can make a difference.  I sure hope so.

Saturday, 12/21/13 - Winter!

Breakfast: Banana, clementines

Lunch: Spinach Quiche, clementines

Dinner: Spicy Sweet Potato Soup, Baked Sweet Potato Wedges, Salad,Ranch Dressing

Spicy Sweet Potato Soup - Soooo delicious!

Baked Sweet Potato Fries - Yum!!

Salad with fresh greens from a local organic farm

I couldn't resist taking a close-up.  Isn't it gorgeous??

Friday, 12/20/13

I woke up feeling so much better than yesterday!  I went to my daughter's holiday breakfast at her school.  Huge, huge blessing.  It's the first time I've ever been to any of her school functions!  Nick attended every other event they've had and took pictures, because I was never well enough to go.

After that, we stopped at my son's school to drop off some goodies for his holiday party, and we stayed and talked to some of the staff for quite awhile.  We ran home, ate a quick lunch, and then went Christmas shopping for the next two hours.

I was tired afterwards, but the pain wasn't unbearable.  I really believe that I'm going to get my life back!



Breakfast:  Cacao Wake-up Shake

 Lunch: Macaroni Salad, cherry tomatoes, clementine

Dinner: Spinach Quiche

Six Months!

Today is my Six Month Plant-Based Anniversary!

I am so excited!  I woke up this morning feeling like...crap.

Seriously.

I kind of feel like I got hit by the proverbial truck today.

So, am I upset?  Discouraged?

Not at all!

I know without a doubt that there's healing going on.  

Some days are good, and others aren't so good.  

But guess what?  Six months ago, they were all bad!  

These days, most of them are good.  

Maybe not great, but good.  

I'm more than happy with good.  :)

So, what's changed in six months?  Here are a few things:

My attitude!

My outlook on life

My mental clarity

My patience and compassion

My blood pressure is down

My cholesterol is down

My weight is down.  

I didn't get on the scale today, but I've lost around 60 pounds.

I did measure myself today, and I've lost 19 inches!

My left calf was 2 1/2 inches smaller, which is a huge accomplishment 

because the lymphedema is bad in that leg  

and I was told that it could never improve.  

Yet, I'm not bandaging or wearing compression garments, 

and it's gotten smaller!

My pain level is so much lower!  

I went Christmas shopping yesterday for the first time in years 

and was able to walk for several hours with only minimal pain near the end.  

Six months ago, I only went out to go to doctor's appointments, 

I couldn't walk without help, 

and I couldn't stand for more than a minute or two without severe pain.

My self-esteem has improved.

I'm more accepting than I was...

of myself, 

of the process, 

of where I am at this moment, 

of what I used to perceive as shortcomings in others.

I'm more content.

I'm hopeful.
Today may not be my best day, but I have hope, which is something that I'd lost. 

I also have trust.  

I trust that I will continue to get better, 

that there will be more and more good days, 

and that poor health will become a thing of the past.

All of this in six short months.  That's something to celebrate!

Thursday, 12/19/13 - Six Months!!

Six months!


Breakfast: Nick's Yummy Instant Pot Oatmeal with strawberries and pineapple
 

Lunch: Chili; Cheeze Sauce, apple

Oops!  Forgot to take a picture!  :)



Dinner: Spicy Sweet Potato Soup; Macaroni Salad

Sweet Potato Soup

Macaroni Salad with cherry tomatoes

Wednesday, 12/18/13

Breakfast:  Cacao Wake-up Shake

Lunch:  Potato Corn Chowder

 

Dinner: Cheezy Chili Fries: Baked Chili Cheeze Fries with diced red onion, halved grape tomatoes ~ SOOOO good!!!

Tuesday, 12/17/13

Breakfast: Nick's Yummy Instant Pot Oatmeal with strawberries and blueberries

Lunch: Hummus, carrots, apple

Dinner: Potato Corn Chowder;  Cornbread Muffins

Monday, 12/16/13

Breakfast:  Nick's Yummy Instant Pot Oatmeal, served with blueberries and strawberries (I forgot to take a picture, so this is an old picture when I had it with blueberries only)

Lunch: Chipotle Chickpea Salad: Mashed cooked chickpeas with diced celery and carrots, chipotle, and mayo, served over a salad of romaine, cucumber, carrots, and cherry tomatoes.  Spicy and delicious!

Dinner: Roasted Carrot Sticks with Hummus; Swedish Meatballs & Gravy

Roasted Carrot Sticks and Hummus

Roasted Carrot Sticks

Swedish "Meatballs" and Gravy

Sunday, 12/15/13

Breakfast: PD Baked Potato Wedges, PD Chipotle Mayo

Lunch: PD Greek Salad

Dinner: Swedish "Meatballs" and Gravy over PD Not So Fat So Mashed Potatoes

The Holidays and Eating

In light of my thoughts and feelings about the so-called perfect Christmas, 

I've been rethinking my food.

I know that I'm not eating enough greens.  

I know that I still eat for emotional reasons.  

I know that I'm not practicing conscious eating and that 

I'm not paying enough attention to when to stop eating because I'm full.

My inclination is to beat myself up for that.  

I've decided not to.

Instead, I've given myself permission to continue on. 

The holidays are difficult and I'm just not going to push myself right now. 

 Is this a cop-out?  

Maybe...but I think that it's more that I'm coming to grips with my reality.

So, I will eat whatever I want this month, as long as it's a PD food.  

I will work at not overeating but won't beat myself up if I do.  

 I will be thankful to be able to eat pies and holiday favorites 

that are good for me and that taste amazing.  

I will be thankful to be eating without deprivation and to be learning how to eat sanely.

Letting Go...of the Perfect Christmas

This is a tough time of year, for a bunch of reasons. 

Christmas will never be the same without my mom.  

There's a void ever since my baby died.  

All of the traveling and socializing is tough, 

both physically for me and emotionally for the kids.   

This year, for the first time in years, I feel like I'm coming out of the pain-induced fog I've been in for so long now.  In some ways, it was easier being in that fog.  What I'm coming to grips with is the fact that I have to let go of the so-called ideal Christmas I have in my head.  Part of that idea is from the Hallmark Holiday Hype, and part of it is from my childhood memories.  Those memories include baking Christmas cookies and making gingerbread houses and Christmas crafts, watching Christmas specials on TV, dancing 'round the Christmas tree with cousins, a Swedish Smorgasbord at my grandmother's house on Christmas Eve, Christmas music and gorgeous decorations, candlelit evenings and a warm fire, driving around looking at Christmas lights, softly falling snow, the amazement of Christmas morning, and a big Christmas dinner.  Life wasn't perfect, but in my young eyes, Christmas always was.

I wanted that for my children.  I expected it for them.  It hasn't happened, which has left me feeling sad and disappointed.  And guilty.

I'm seeing that I need to accept the fact that my life is different now.  I can't do 90% of those things.  The kids just aren't interested.  Kids who can't sit still long enough to do a project or decorate a cookie, kids who melt down constantly and dissolve in tears over things that I'll never be a part of or understand, kids who destroy things that are meaningful to me, kids who aren't able to be happy or enjoy a holiday, and kids who get so overstimulated that they melt down in the midst of all of the stimulation and changes in routine...this is our reality.  Our life is governed by ADHD, ASD, FASD, ODD, OCD...acronyms that I'd never thought twice about before kids.

So, I'm working on acceptance.  I'm thankful for the Christmases I had, and I've accepted that they're a thing of the past.  I can't beat myself up because we're not out there doing all of the things that "normal" families are doing during the holiday season.  As Nick likes to say, "It is what it is."

I'm thankful that I have the clarity to see the situation for what it is.  

I'm thankful that I'm coming out of the fog and that I feel well enough to 

face my life instead of burying my head in the sand.  

I'm thankful that I'm able to enjoy happy moments here and there.  

I'm thankful to be able to look forward to the future, 

even if it looks different than I thought it would.  

It beats having nothing to look forward to, 

which is where I was just six months ago, 

when I was still eating to escape the painful parts of my life.